So, lately
So, lately my trach’s been bothering me, my ear’s acting up again, so I can’t hear so well. I’m just not feeling so great, I’m kind of nervous all the time. It’s hard to write like that, or just to focus on anything. Then there’s this other box of somethings I can’t write until, I don’t know, five minutes before I die, I guess. I’m trying, though. I’m trying to be better.
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Cincinnati and what-not
So, I thought I’d write lots about my trip to Cincinnati, I thought I’d write everything, but I just don’t have the desire. I feel more like writing the Reader’s Digest version.
I went to have my trach looked at by the foremost airway specialist in America, Doctor Robin Cotton. He personally looked down the hole in my throat, changed my trach out twice. He decided my trach tube should be 5 mm. shorter. So, we’ll see how that goes.
I did a lot of wandering around the city, and it’s actually a very cool place, I just wasn’t in good spirits, because of some things that I don’t plan to write, probably ever. I got a tattoo my first night in town, sort of a physical reflection of my intense melancholy. It felt necessary.
In the hospital, I mostly spent three days watching movies, as my left eye was swollen shut because of a weird sinus thing, so I couldn’t wear my glasses. I’m a little blind without my glasses. Mostly, I was lonely. I thought I was past lonely, but before I left I became not-soo-certain.
Anyways, I’m bored, this is boring, and I don’t have the will to make it interesting.
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Cincinnati
So, in about an hour, I’ll be on the road to Cincinnati to see a trach specialist. I’ll be back online regularly, probably Monday.
I feel like I should write something important right now, but…this big ball of sad isn’t worth even filling with air…
