My Whole Expanse I Cannot See…

I formulate infinity stored deep inside of me…

Apr 12

Wasn’t honest

Category: Life

I write with one rule for myself, whatever I write has to be honest when I write it. I can change my mind, evolve, but everything has to be true in the moment. So, when I wrote that I don’t want Sara back, it wasn’t honest, and I knew it wasn’t honest. I want my feelings toward her to be that simple, but they’re not, at all. I love her, and I’m angry with her, and she hurt me, and I failed her, and I miss her, and I don’t want to miss her, and I could love someone else, and I don’t want to be alone.

Now I feel honest.

3 comments

3 Comments so far

  1. Rachel April 12th, 2009 4:03 am

    I know these feelings. I’m not sure what makes them dissipate and change, but eventually they do. I don’t have anything to say that will miraculously make everything feel better, I know this. All I can say is love to you, my friend.

  2. Alex Carnegie April 14th, 2009 7:31 pm

    I had an inkling actually…

    So few things in life ever are simple, and I think that is a large part of the reason why, for instance, we find it so hard to let go – so many different conflicting loose strands that can never really be reconciled.

    Three cheers for your honesty though Michael! It’s definately one of the characteristics of your blogging that keeps me visiting.

  3. Steph April 17th, 2009 4:15 pm

    Love is messy.