My Whole Expanse I Cannot See…

I formulate infinity stored deep inside of me…

Dec 11

Breakdown checklist

Category: Life

Get yourself committed √

Not sleep √

Get astonishingly fucked up on various drugs not in a fun way √

Have the custodian lady ask how your girfriend’s doing √

Regain strong desire to live √

Marvel at your spectacular stupidity √

Finish reading Fathom and love it √

Go for long walk outside with hospital permission to think on everything that went so very wrong √

Learn from a ridiculous and absolutely horrible experience √

4 comments

4 Comments so far

  1. Will December 12th, 2008 1:09 am

    Get yourself committed √
    Good Job (no, seriously. You and all have been paying attention and we were all like, um, wow, seems a bit extreme,but, oddly , Fitting, if you consider the context of, why NOT go the Safe Route ? beats the crap out of one of the alternatives, and, the most responsible).

    Not sleep √
    Oooh, Sleep is KEY man. Dreams? one thing, mere REST, Golden. Robbed of it? Shame. So, We understand , the Twighlight.
    Hopefully you have the objectivity to see same.

    Get astonishingly fucked up on various drugs not in a fun way √
    Yep, those Medic Meds, even if they have the dopamine/serotonin flava, they never subdue, never comfort, never seem to do much more than…placate. But , trust, relax and let possibility of their soothing nature come to the surface. That don’t work? tell that Doc, uh Uh, not so much.

    Have the custodian lady ask how your girfriend’s doing √ (really? STILL? one thing when the homeless dudes with, um, no homes let alone internet know about the S factor, but the attendings? they actually KNOW, and yet, Aren’t up to Speed on that? Wow, talk about an unasked for kick in the balls in a way, and yet, since you and it is kinda distant, humorous, irony on high).
    What’s great when asked about an ex as if they’re not: Temperance comes from.

    Regain strong desire to live √
    Now THAT’s the Spirit (said blade runner end when rutger hower gets nailed in the face).

    Marvel at your spectacular stupidity √
    (the mare of every smart man making good decisions, starts with regret 50% of the time…)

    Finish reading Fathom and love it √
    Love a strong word; bravo for care concern and respect for something you found via or seeked from you notoriety. There’s links/I’ll follow. don’t quite understand yet from lack of exposure to the source)

    Go for long walk outside with hospital permission to think on everything that went so very wrong √
    And, to think, what Is so very right.

    Wonder if perhaps, you left out, rightfully so in context, the Right….of everything that went so very …Right….

    Yes, of course, in trying times, yes, we seem to focus on the Why first and leave the rest of the WH words alone. Isn’t is odd that who what where all start with “wh”, and yet, the think most want is….How?

    Moderation. Key.

    Learn from a ridiculous and absolutely horrible experience √

    Your two adjectives, I disagree with but, hey, I accept; ridiculous?> nah. Horrible? maybe, while in It,

    post?

    Valuable.

    Aka Golden.

    Hold On.

    So that later you can see why Golden…._

    Gratitude. Nobel sounding word.
    Great concept.

    Truth in it.
    Being ,…grateful.

    100,000,000,000,000 humans got busy and carried on our code so we , May be , We.

    gotta respect That…

    regardless. No matter the challenge.

  2. Espo December 12th, 2008 9:24 am

    Yay!!! You are back. We missed you!

  3. david December 13th, 2008 3:27 pm

    I think seeing you back up here makes us all feel a lot better 🙂

  4. teresa December 13th, 2008 6:25 pm

    Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.
    – Dalai Lama

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