My Whole Expanse I Cannot See…

I formulate infinity stored deep inside of me…

Nov 23

Thank you, homeless

Category: Life,Random Thought

I really enjoy it when homeless people stop me to ask how my girlfriend’s doing and if she’s treating me well. I don’t particularly feel like alphabetting I a m s u r e s h e i s g r e a t b u t  s h e d u m p e d m e l i k e a s a c k o f b r i c k s, so I just nod in affirmation and give him five bucks.

6 comments

6 Comments so far

  1. Will November 24th, 2008 1:22 am

    I loved that because I spent 3 years telling people how wonderful my relationship was and now over, it’s far easier to just go “Great!” than to bother to explain when they ask the same. Homeless/coworkers/family, really makes no difference, that I can speak with my vocal chords, you can’t, makes no difference. Same feeling, same result, same amount level of humor. In saying merely “Great” or nodding, I’m paying a metaphorical 5 bucks so they can feel good and I don’t have to hear “oh I’m so sorry to hear that”.

    Of all the people who could say something and have it resonate with me, only you could do that.

    And we both have a bit of a challenge: they didn’t drop us like a sack of bricks; they love us still. Relationships are never easy, and when they aren’t where we want them or if they’re over; we brought half the baggage to the table. In my case, way more than half. Being able to have a sense of humor about it is key, but also without a feeling of loss, learn from Why, vs focus on the Why or continue to ask the question because the answers are there. We just don’t always like them.

    It’s hard to see that the pain and loss from certain relationships is actually part of the gain, and it helps to recall if you didn’t give it your all, you wouldn’t feel certain ways certain days.

  2. Trevor November 24th, 2008 2:52 pm

    find another bitch!

  3. michael November 24th, 2008 3:07 pm

    Don’t refer to her that way.

  4. teresa November 24th, 2008 6:44 pm

    They way you have described your break-up here and there does make it seem like she was pretty mean to you!

  5. michael November 24th, 2008 6:54 pm

    No, she wasn’t, I was just really very stupid and weak.

  6. Will November 24th, 2008 7:13 pm

    I was almost going to say something about the assumed uncool nature to Trev’s post but I understood the spirit behind it and Michael’s response said it all.
    Felt better to let it go. Now that there’s another comment and response of a mature/humble/noble nature by Michael, I feel fine saying just this: Michael is an open book in the best of ways when you really reflect on what he’s actually saying as well as his gift for direct communication: his words for those observant enough, they say it all and resonate when you yourself are aware of the tearing emotions that come with a break up when you know there’s conditions vs. souls as the cause. When you love someone with all your heart, all your soul, and they lift you to places you’ve never seen before, it’s nothing but tough when you feel anything lower than that, you can’t help but go south because nothing else compares (you think and feel)….it’s like glimpsing and visiting heaven and then forced back down to earth, how can you not revolt and rebel a little?
    If it wasn’t for his honesty I’d have learned nothing from him and he’s taught me so much.

    I’ve been so proud of Michael for being able to be bluntly honest about his feelings while also remaining completely respectful and validating the love he feels as well as some pain. Read between the lines is not the suggestion I have, but rather, consider the context.

    One thing I hold dear that I never thought I would, is that the pangs of pain from love are only testament to the depth of the feelings and genuine concern, care and respect for the person and the relationship. Finding a way to intake and process them starts with being honest, and sometimes that has a bit of not sounding but actully healthy drama involved. There’s a theme to the honesty he brings about in his feelings expressed I couldn’t help but see as merely his expressions and way of dealing, that has been far more honest than mine in lots of ways, so, I get it…I see that there’s some dramatic overtones or statements that could be easily misconstrued, but far better he and we experience that than some guarded, filtered version of platitudes and shoulda coulda woulda’s.

    Rock On.

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