My Whole Expanse I Cannot See…

I formulate infinity stored deep inside of me…

Oct 2

Terrible euphemism

Category: Life

So, lately I’ve been astonishingly depressed, months really, and it all kind of hit me badly today. The problem is that everything hurts so badly I’m not good at talking about it. My friend is dead in the sense that Anakin Skywalker died. The person’s gone to me, and the loss is worse than anything I’ve ever felt. I don’t miss my voice as much as this person. I just shouldn’t have written about it the way I did, the euphemism was very wrong. The rest was entirely real.

Everything else is so easy to write about, save for this. I’m a fuck up.

2 comments

2 Comments so far

  1. Wendy October 2nd, 2008 6:42 am

    It doesn’t make you a f-up. So you can’t find the words to talk about everything; sometimes it’s too hard. I can relate to that, as I’m sure everyone who reads your blog can too.

    We’re all imperfect people living in an imperfect world. Doesn’t make any of us f-ups. INCLUDING you.

    I don’t even know you, and it hurts me to know you’re so sad, because things don’t have to be that way for you.

    I’m still praying for you, Mister.

  2. redandjonny October 2nd, 2008 11:35 am

    If this person is gone in the way you knew them… then the euphemism is correct. You did nothing wrong…you didn’t fuck up. I’m positive they would really appreciate the fact that you had the guts to pronounce them dead at that point. Unlike others who will sit and cry over an empty vessel until the very last heart beat.

    Stop beating yourself up,
    and mourn the loss of your friend.

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