My Whole Expanse I Cannot See…

I formulate infinity stored deep inside of me…

Oct 20

Getting a fresh trache

Category: Life

So, in a few hours I have another trache change, and I’m nervous about it. I’m always nervous.

I tried talking to Sara, but, silence. I shouldn’t have tried, but I guess I couldn’t not. She’s always been my last thought in the O.R. before the drugs take me happily away. I wish I hadn’t been such a fuck up, but I can’t go back. No one can go back. I’m not strong, or brave, and I hate that I’m not. I should have been better, but I wasn’t.

I want to wake up in that druggy bliss, but if I don’t, that’d be okay. I’m really tired.

1 comment

1 Comment so far

  1. redandjonny October 20th, 2008 5:39 pm

    You may not be strong or brave…but you’re still cool.

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