I’m Aimee Mann’s Goddamn fucking moth. I’m fueled by need and anger desperation. I need the life I want. I’m angry it’s so difficult. I’m desperate not to fail. I’m sick as shit of people telling me what’s “best” for me. I’m sick as shit of people pretending to know what’s in my heart and in my head. My biggest fucking mistake is trying to please everybody while not pleasing myself. I’m done. I’m out. Fuck it. Fuck doing what I’m told. Fuck juggling everybody’s happiness. That doesn’t get me anywhere but miserable. Fuck wasting time. Barring something incredibly stupid, everybody I know is going to outlive me, so fuck not pleasing myself. Fuck feeling guilty about the things that I want. Fuck it all. I’m a good Goddamn person, flawed like anyone, but good. I’ve endured a whole Goddamn fucking lot in my 27 years and I have held up pretty fucking well. The same people who tell me what to do would have broken by now were they in my place.
I stumble, but I don’t quit. I beat my wings till I burn them black, but I don’t give up.6 comments
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