My Whole Expanse I Cannot See…

Tattoo by Colt, Las Vegas Tattoo, Ybor City

So, this tattoo… The lyrics are from an Aimee Mann song, King of the Jailhouse, which is off her record, my second favorite, The Forgotten Arm. If you listen to the record in order, the songs tell a story about this alcoholic, washed up former boxer, and his girlfriend, and the arc of their relationship from beginning to end. Few albums are perfect, there are always a few songs that are just “meh,” but I think The Forgotten Arm is as close to perfect as an album gets.

As for the tattoo, well, I’ll just say that if I’m stressed enough, and lonely enough, I’m guaranteed to do something stupid. I’ll do the worst, dumbest thing possible, and I don’t know how to fix that about myself.

Tattoo by Clare, Las Vega Tattoo, Ybor City

Elliott Smith – Placeholder

So, there’s this Elliott Smith song, Placeholder, off his second posthumously released album, New Moon. To me, the song is basically Elliott saying that his work, all the stuff he writes, it’s all just temporary. He’s just a placeholder until something else comes along. Though, he’s talking about himself as a person too, he’s just a placeholder for the people in his life.

I’ve thought about myself the same way many times, the song can remind me so much of me. So, when I was really very dark a few months ago, this tattoo felt very appropriate.

I don’t get the sad tattoos and regret them later. They’re not constant reminders of darkness, but rather, they show me the entire road I had to take to feel something good again. It’s odd, but it’s really kind of spectacular to look back on this lonely place and that empty place from someplace beautiful, seeing times that I could have broken, but didn’t. Then again, they could all add up to failure at the end of everything, but I won’t really know until I got there.

A Woman a Man Walked By is the result of a collaboration between PJ Harvey and John Perish, Black Hearted Love is one of my favorite songs on that album.

To me, the song is about a woman and her lover, and their intense connection to each other. My favorite line goes…

“When you call out my name in rapture, I volunteer my soul for murder. I wish this moment here forever…”

When you give yourself to someone, your skin against theirs, and you genuinely feel something deep for that person, that’s kind of the pact. You give your soul to that person, and they can do what they will with it, keep it or destroy it. This pact can go both ways, but not always, Still, the moment that pact is formed, it’s like magic, and you wish you could stay in that moment forever. At least, that’s what I take from the song.