Archive for the 'Attempted Poetry' Category
In you, and on you, and with you
She’s in your head and in your heart, she’s all over your skin. She’s this beautiful, nebulous maybe, yes, I don’t know, possibly.
She’s please God, please. Let me stay here, just let me stay. Please. Talking to God at 4 a.m. with the voice in your head, the voice no one hears.
She’s bright light and right in front. She’s vanish and perfect dark.
She’s sad songs, and lonely songs.
She’s Heaven and Purgatorying.
She’s want and wait, air and breathlessness.
She’s love and safe, peace and sleep.
She’s home and away, too far and away.
She’s your muse and your torment, forever in you, and on you, and with you.
Sometimes all he sees is her
Sometimes all he sees is her, all warm brown eyes, curly brown hair.
She’s behind his eyes when he closes them to fall asleep at night, she’s in his head when he wakes in the morning.
He sees her in little things, beautiful things. She’s sun shining through bright green tree leaves, she’s a pretty teal butterfly fluttering nowhere in particular.
He sees her when the sky shifts from pure blue to black infinity. She’s so right there, in the silvery full moon, in the brightest stars.
This woman, so dear to him, he sees her in raindrops bouncing off a city sidewalk. Drops splitting into drops, splitting into drops, tiny spheres of water with rainbows inside. She’s with him, even when she’s not.
Sometimes all he sees is her.
Not pure
You are not perfect, you are not pure.
You are full of cracks, cracks too deep to fill with all the liquor, all the morphine in the world.
You are damaged, and fucked up, and worn down.
You’re just pretending to be alive, pretending until you can stop.
The befores you don’t want
You remember before her, before her warm brown eyes, her curly brown hair.
You remember before her touch, and before her kiss, before you ever held her close, told her you love her.
You remember the grey, and the empty, and the weight of lonely.
But when you’re with her, her hand in yours, her lips against yours, you forget the befores. The grey has color, the empty’s all filled up. The lonely isn’t heavy on your chest, doesn’t drag you down.
All those befores, they scare you though, they absolutely fucking scare you. They’re places you don’t miss, don’t care to go again. These places are like ghosts, they haunt you when it’s quiet. They stop by and say hi when you’re alone in the dark.
She keeps it all away, the places you don’t miss, the ghosts that haunt, so you want her to stay. She might not, and you know it. The might nots make you uneasy sometimes, they keep sleep away when you let them in, but they’re worth the risk of happening. Without that risk, all those befores would be so right now.
She could be gone tomorrow, or the next tomorrow, or the next, but maybe she won’t. You want to tell her things with a voice you can’t find. You want to kiss her slow, and be with her as long as tiny gears turning tiny hands allow.
She might go one day, but you don’t want it to be today, not today.
Let you in
I want to let you in, to hand you the key to me.
I want you to see all my locked rooms, the lonely places people never see. They’re all dark, dusty, full of hidden things. I want to show you the rooms that keep my secrets, my fears, the dreams too stupid to show anyone else.
I’ve locked so many rooms, guided people away from the things I don’t trust to anyone. The things I didn’t trust to anyone, until you showed up one day.
I want you to see everything, to know everything and maybe stay awhile. I want you to stay, though I want most people to go.
I want to let you in, to hand you the key to me. It’s scary wanting something so much, scary to feel so much trust. You might not take the key, you might not like what you find inside. You might say, “Goodbye, nice try.” So much I don’t know, but I want to let you in.
The push
Drugs, and liquor, and loneliness, and ghosts.They’ll hold you close and kiss you slow. They’re forever friends, eager lovers.
They’ll hold your hand, they’ll walk you home. Drugs, and liquor, and loneliness, and ghosts. They’ll fling you toward oblivion, and you’ll welcome the push.
For her
Stay with me awhile, your head on my shoulder.
Stay with me awhile, looking at me the way you do.
Stay with me awhile, the two of us in the dark.
Stay in case the zombies come, stay in case tomorrow doesn’t.
Stay because I love you, and because I’m why you look at me the way you do.
Stay with me awhile, let me kiss you slow.
Let me hold you close, let me stay awhile.
To me
To me she’s like sunlight through green leaves. She’s like brandy and opiates.
She’s all bright stars and moonbeams. She’s like all my favorite songs.
To me she’s everything beautiful in the world. She’s everything I don’t deserve.
He came with her
He came with her tonight, into blissful oblivion.
Her hair tossed back, eyes closed and showing so much. Her face flushed, gorgeous.
His breath hard, fast. Him knowing where they’re going, knowing he can’t stop it.
They’re all sweat, and skin, and exquisite sin.
He came with her into that place of perfect nothingness, white hot decadence.
He came with her tonight, into blissful oblivion.