My Whole Expanse I Cannot See…

I formulate infinity stored deep inside of me…

Archive for January, 2013

ATIA: Day 1

January 31st, 2013 | Category: Life

My first presentation, the one about NeuroSwitch, went really well. I think I got all positive evaluation forms.

The next presentation’s the hard one…

2 comments

Packed!

January 30th, 2013 | Category: Life

I’m packed.

I’m ready.

I’m melancholy.

I’m nervous.

I should get “Melancholy and Nervous” tattooed on my face…. or perhaps my hands. Face tattoos are only for folks in Federal Prison.

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Orlando: Ready

January 29th, 2013 | Category: Life

So, my ATIA presentations are ready to go, they’ll be solid. I’m not worried.

I’m just really melancholy, very lonely. I’m so beyond tired of lonely. I feel like my entire life is missing someone who isn’t here, just wanting to be close to one person, and not.

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Tired of the the juxtaposition

January 28th, 2013 | Category: Life

On Wednesday, I’m heading to Orlando to give a few presentations at this giant assistive technology conference, ATIA. I’m giving a NeuroSwitch presentation, and a presentation about new forms of communication, including Anybots.

I’m just really uneasy about everything. Honestly, I’m fucking exhausted. I’m not nervous about the presentations, I give good presentations. I have to give good presentations, sucking isn’t an option. It’s everything around the presentations. It’s the rest of my life, nothing’s consistent, I don’t have that one puzzle piece that’s always there, that always makes everything else pretty. I don’t want the harsh juxtaposition between nights like last Sunday, and right now, and how the rest of the week is going to go.

I’m tired of feeling lost.

1 comment

Love (and nails!)

January 27th, 2013 | Category: Life
Swanky nails!

Swanky nails!

I’m going to be in Orlando on business this week, so my spectacular girlfriend gave me a super swanky manicure.

It’s weird how little things can make you love someone even deeper, just because of something so simple. We went to her first NHL game, my zillionth, we basically talked via the alphabet the entire game. I didn’t feel all by myself, we felt alone together. Talking about whatever, looking into her eyes, it was just us, and twelve thousand nobodies, vaguely, somewhere, outside of the tunnel created by our gaze. Then, we’re driving home, my mom and step–dad bickering about stop-lights like they’re still married, and she’s sitting with me, holding my hand, tracing my tattoos with the tips of her fingers, saying she loves me without saying the words.

It’s strange how something so small can feel so big.

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And

January 26th, 2013 | Category: Creative Flash

And he slept and dreamed bad dreams, and no one ended as they wished. They just ended.

1 comment

Considering

January 25th, 2013 | Category: Life

I have a cold, and I’m stressed about other things. Last night, I was really very down, just not happy about anything. I was thinking about chucking this blog, calling it a day. I’m not writing well, I’m not feeling well, nothing’s going the way I want. Still… still still still… Quitting the blog only guarantees that it’ll never get better, just like quitting life guarantees the same. So, I’ll keep posting shit posts, and I’ll keep waking up in the morning, and maybe life will turn right again. If it never does turn right, it won’t be because I quit trying.

3 comments

Write something

January 24th, 2013 | Category: Life

Bad

January 23rd, 2013 | Category: Life

Today was bad, I’m so tired of everything being wrong.

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Comments now welcome

January 22nd, 2013 | Category: Life

Apparently, since at least 2009, comments have been closed on my About the Author page. Well, they’re now open, so rather than comment on how my individual posts suck, you can leave comments on how the blog, in general, sucks. You can also comment on how much I personally suck.

You could also leave nice comments. if you like.

2 comments

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