My Whole Expanse I Cannot See…

I formulate infinity stored deep inside of me…

Archive for October, 2009


October 05th, 2009 | Category: Life,Opinions

In my head, there had been three perfect zombie movies, 28 Days Later, Dawn of the Dead (2004) and Shaun of the Dead. After tonight, however, my list is up to four thanks to the surprising awesomeness of Zombieland. Zombieland tells the story of four survivors living in a world of blood-thirsty victims of a terrible virus, and falls into the genre of “horror comedy,” which always worries me a little. Bad horror can be really funny, but bad comedy is always just flat out bad. Fortunately, Zombieland does everything right. It’s stylishly violent, sometimes scary, but also very funny, and very warm.

To me, the great zombie movies aren’t really about zombies, they’ve about people, people facing the end and trying to cope with death that could happen at any moment. People don’t generally think of death as something that could happen tomorrow, or right now. People are almost child-like about death. Death is something that happens to other people, or when you’re “really old.” People stay in shit jobs, worry about schedules, have petty arguments over things that don’t matter, they don’t spend time enough with people they love, because there’s always time to live differently. Zombies strip away ridiculous constructs and the delusional idea that there’s always time to be happier or say to that someone who feels like home, “I love you.” Zombies are a death that everyone can see, and smell, they’re not a vague notion of something that will happen “eventually.” When death is banging bloody hands on the door, people get their priorities straight. Survival and being with those we care about, nothing else is important. Zombieland captures all of this with dark humor, bloody violence, and genuine tenderness.

If zombies showed up tomorrow, I know right where I’d want to be. Do you?


Whatever doesn’t kill you

October 04th, 2009 | Category: Life,Opinions

There’s this line from The Dark Knight, the Joker says, “I believe whatever doesn’t kill you simply makes you stranger.” I don’t really like the movie, but Heath Ledger’s Joker is a brilliant character. That particular line seems very true to me. Trauma leads to cracks that shape people differently. My blog documents my cracks, cracks that keep getting deeper. It documents me getting stranger, and getting better at writing about it. Still, I’m not broken, there’s still something left of me.



October 04th, 2009 | Category: Life

No, I can’t do what I said below, that’s just stupid . I might be a lot of really awful things, but I’m not stupid. I realized that I’d rather write until all four engines flame out than not. Even if everything I have to write is bad, that’s better than absolutely nothing.


Done for awhile

October 03rd, 2009 | Category: Life

So, I’m done for awhile. No more blogging, no more tweeting. I just don’t have anything left to bleed.

I hope you all come back when I come back.


Out tonight

October 02nd, 2009 | Category: Life

So, I’m going out tonight with this girl and my new assistant, Cassandra. Cassandra has never taken me anywhere by herself before, but I think she’s ready enough. The question I always ask in this situation is, “If I happened to die doing what I’m about to do, would it still seem worth it just before everything went black?” I mean, the odds of me dying just leaving the house are probably only slightly higher than anyone else’s, but I’m morbid and I ask myself such questions.

Now, is what I’m doing on this particular evening worth the possibility of my demise and probable trip to Hell? Yes, I believe in the possibility of Hell, and that if it does actually exist, I’ll probably end up there. So, is this girl with her moonbeam smile, her alluring brown eyes, this girl who’s touch feels better than morphine, is she worth possible death and damnation? Yes, yes she is, she’s worth whatever I have to give, or lose.


And I wonder why I’ve not been writing

October 01st, 2009 | Category: Life

I haven’t written anything in so long. I’m going to try to change that in October. Last month was not my best, I’m really not at my best.


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